Feel The Fear: Turn Fear Into Power

I listen to books on my kindle (I turn on “text to speak”) as I get ready in the morning for work. I’ve listened to this book twice now. I swear, I will probably listen to it countless more times. It’s amazing how powerful this book is for me. I’ve struggled with depression most of my life, I am currently going through a divorce, & living alone for the first time in my life. I was, & at times I still feel like a lost puppy…

I had a pretty unique life, I lived with my mother, we moved a lot, I was sexually abused by one of very few male figures in my life…I never had many friends (we moved too much for me to get close to people), & my mother was emotionally unavailable. To this day she is not emotionally available, but I accept her as she is, & that took years to learn how to do…the point of me putting my life story out there is because no one in my life cared about me, in any way shape or form. My mom couldn’t wait for me to get married, she just about signed for me to marry my then 21 year old boyfriend when I was 15, because I think she could not wait to get rid of me, her “burden” off of her chest. So, when I did finally get married a few years ago, I thought my life’s mission was accomplished, I was married, that was what I was supposed to do in my life, if I ever wanted my mother to be proud of me…

I was never around anyone in my life that told me “feel the fear, & do it anyway”, no one said “you can do this, keep going forward”…I didn’t have that. I feel like I was raising myself, I raised myself emotionally, I gave myself pep-talks to be able to make it through new schools a few new ones every year, stomach aches of worry when my mom would be freaking out, concerned about bills or whatever else she had going on in her life… Severe neglect, that’s what I’d say my life was. I had maybe 2 friends through my entire school career, real friends, that is. And, we moved so much, I never even kept in touch. Anyway, the point is, that when you grow up without someone there telling you that you can do whatever you want, you can be whatever you want, you are great, you are amazing, even amazing people get scared…you don’t assume those things. I have had irrational fears, sooooooooooooo many, I was scared of the dark, scared of Michael Myers (as if this fictional character was going to come after me…seriously, I was afraid he was, I know it probably sounds so ridiculous to the average person, but I’ve been to therapy, these fears come from trauma & basically the things I went through growing up)…sometimes I never thought I’d be able to get past all of the fears that crippled me. I’ve been wanting to go back to school, & get my degree, but school was very hard for me, I am anti-social, & going to school was traumatizing in itself for me, with all that was going on in the background of my life, school was just as torturous to me…I never had any friends, I wasn’t the cool kid, I ate lunch alone a lot…it was awful.

I signed up to go to school a few years ago, I made it to the parking lot that first day, burst into tears…turned around & went home…cried for hours, nearly committed suicide…these feelings run very deep, & it’s hard to move forward when there is so many painful memories of the past.

Anyway, with this book, I feel like I’m very close to being able to have the courage to go back. I think a few more times of listening to this book, & I’ll actually be able to do it. But overall, this book makes me less afraid of life. That again is probably not what most people want this book for, but me not being afraid of life, that is monumental, I was afraid that I was not a real person/woman without being married or a wife, the one thing I’d idolized my whole life (I was taught to), to be married. I survived, & everyday is a new day & journey, & you never know where life might take you. I feel great when I read this book, I’ll keep reading, whenever I have something I want to achieve, I will read it again – this is a timeless book, & I’m thankful I found it.

Some context: I am on page 84 of 167. I am age 60 and have had a useful career as a professional. Even so, there is still pervasive and paralyzing fear. Can I retire? Why do I feel so unsatisfied? Why do I feel “behind” or out of touch? I don’t like the way the world is changing, do I have to change with it? I want to keep earning, but a I really don’t feel like learning “new fangled” stuff. Will we have enough money? Etc etc….

From my view, this is an outstanding book and every chapter thus far has provided valuable insights that I will be required to read again, then again and then again. I am not going to beat myself up, but this book has pinpointed so many of my areas of weakness that it is uncanny. The first read, which I am still navigating, provides the possibilities and the hope. I see I can improve and grow….but I have to reiterate that you will need to read this book over and over to continue burning the concepts in….it is work.

Given all of that, I would say this is the best book of analysis and self-help I personally have read and I have read A LOT! I say that because I differentiate between platitudes and straight talk and actionable skills to learn. There are many “cheerleading” books and those also are valuable….and there is some cheerleading in this book as well, but there is also a heck of a lot of straight talk and actionable content.

I certainly don’t like some parts of the book – for instance the part accepting of leaving children while one goes back to school. I don’t know what age the children were so there could be some conjecture on my part, but if an individual wants children, my take is that a parent needs to be there for 18 years….sure, when they are 18 then go back and grow and make the world your stage.

I can’t recommend this book enough even after only half of it – and I will be reading this one in Perpetuity….a confident 5 out of 5 stars.

Thank You Dr Jeffers for a brilliant work….

This very well could be the best book I have read. Dr. Jeffers digs deep into our minds on how it works, how to get rid of the negative feelings in our chatterbox and how we can have a life of abundance. This is definitely a re-read for me, probably several times. I wished I had read many years ago.

This book is dynamic front cover to cover it will teach you how to empower yourself in all areas of your life. I am reading for a second time I thoroughly enjoy this book.

There is so much inspiration on every page! I found myself highlighting right and left. Definitely a reference book that I will be coming back to. Chock full insights and practical exercises for creating a beautiful, magical life!

Really enjoyed while reading. My first book on english language that I read from cover to cover.
Recommend!